Please Tell Me This Is Normal

The First Day of First Grade

My Dear Bubba,

Although you don’t really like to be called that anymore, but I’m doing it anyway.  I’ll probably still call you that or ‘Bubby’ or ‘Bubbalicious’ until I die.  I’m your Momma and I’ve earned that right. 

Today you started your first day of first grade.  I don’t feel old enough to be the mother of a first grader.  That seems so…..big.  Although, technically, I guess you should be in second grade if we hadn’t of held you back a year and make you repeat Pre-K.  Okay…now first grade doesn’t seem so bad.  I’m definitely not old enough to be a mother to a second grader.

When we were faced with the decision of whether or not to move you forward or have you redo Pre-K, it was agonizing.  I’m so very, very glad that we made the decision to give you another year.  That was definitely God at work in our lives.

If we wouldn’t have held you back, you wouldn’t have been in that kindergarten class last year at Freedom Farm.  You had such a great year last year.  The best school year that you have had.  Your dad and I didn’t even realize just how great of a year that you had until we got your awards last week.  (We missed award’s night last spring due to over scheduling.) ((Sorry!))  You got all kinds of awards for your Bible memorization, for completing a full years worth of PACES, and for having the highest average in your class (99%).  Basically, you were the kindergarten valedictorian, Bubs.  That just blows my mind.

After all the struggles so far, and all my worry, you basically rocked last year.  You ruled.  You soared.  I’m so very glad that you were in that class.

In addition to your academic success, you also met your very best friends in the whole wide world, last year.  God placed into your life a class of six boys and only one girl.  And you boys are a pack.  You are all boy and play like there is no tomorrow.  You would have missed out on that had we not held you back.  Can I say again how very glad that I am that we listened to God’s leading for your life?  He definitely had a plan for you.

Those boys, your best friends, are the reason that you couldn’t just WAIT to get to school today.  You were so excited.  And this  year,  you have two new kids in your class.  And guess what?  Both boys.  You are going to have such a good time.

This year, your Daddy is once again teaching at a school that you attend, which makes you unbelievably happy.  You wanted to ride with him early this morning, but Mommy made you stay so I could drop you off for your first day and take pictures.  You obliged me, but you weren’t happy with it.

You’ve been going with your Dad to varsity soccer practice and being the ball boy.  You like to run with the varsity on their run and take them on in the goal.  You are such a sports kid.

Soccer season starts for you here too in a few weeks for the rec league that you are in.  This year, we’ve arranged it so one of your school friends will be on your same team and I can’t wait to see you guys tear it up out there. 

We’re moving again in about a month.  But we are moving to what you consider utopia – we are moving on-campus to staff housing.  You can see our new house from your school.  But, more importantly to you, two of your best friend’s are also staff children and the three of you are thick as thieves.  They are also very excited that you are moving near them.

You are getting so much older.  I feel like it is going too fast.  The other day, you wouldn’t hold my hand because you were embarrassed because your friends were there.   I don’t understand a lot of things that you are into – its all video games and Pokémon or Bakugan or something or rather involving Hit Points.  I feel like you are slipping away. 

I’ve definitely become Mom now to you.  Not Mommy.  Not Momma.   This makes me sad.

I know that you need to grow up.  I know that you need to become a man.  To grow in Christ and embrace this life that God has blessed you with.  I just didn’t expect it to go so fast.

My prayer for you this year Connor is that you continue to grow.  Not just academically.  Not just physically.  And not just socially.  But that you grow in your relationship with the Lord.

You love God with all your heart, soul, and mind.  Your greatest desire in life is to do what you should be doing – to serve Him.  You soak up any and all information from Scripture and ask your parents some pretty deep questions sometimes that really makes us think.

God has blessed you with an emotional intelligence that rivals anything I’ve ever seen.  You have such a gift for empathy, and seeing the world through your Father’s eyes.  My prayer is that this never changes.  That you never get jaded by this sinful, awful world in which we live and you continue to love and care for your fellow man so very deeply. 

I pray that God buts a barrier of protection around your tender heart.  I know the day is coming.  When someone takes advantage of your nature and you get hurt.  You feel things so deeply, I just want to prevent that happening, so very much.  I pray that God protects you as much as possible and is your comfort when you’re hurting. 

I pray that you have a great year, Bubbers.  That it is as much as fun as you expect it to be.  That you learn as much as you can.  And even though your Mommy would like to keep you little forever, I pray that you grow. 

 

I love you kiddo,

 

Mom

What Dreams May Come

Do you remember your dreams each morning when you wake up?  How vividly do you dream?

Since she could talk, Emmy has been telling me about her dreams on a semi-regularly basis.  What impresses me so much is just, even at such a young age, how vivid and colorful they are.  I don’t dream like that.  I guess that makes me boring.  Or something.

She has common villains in her dreams.  Usually Swiper or a giant. 

Last night a giant chased her, then it sat on her and crushed her.  Then he picked her up and ate her.

When she was little, the Swiper dreams would scare her so much she would be terrified to sleep in her room all by herself because that sneaky fox would surely get her.

They aren’t all bad dreams, either.

The other morning, when I tried to rouse her, she was so sad to wake up and mumbled “Oh no, now Truman be all alone.”  They were apparently coloring.

Sometimes her and Peyton and Natalee and Grace and Kenadee are all princesses in a castle and go to a Ball, and dance and wear pretty dresses.

The other morning, she crawled into bed next to me…”Mommy, I dreamed that Miss Chantell was my mommy.”  I thought that this was probably a great dream for her considering that meant that she would have like three sisters, including her current BFF Natalee, so I said “Oh, was that just so much fun?” And she was all “No…I miss-ded you so much, Mommy”.  And then she gave me a big hug.

Connor doesn’t dream like this.  Tim doesn’t dream like this.  I’ve already mentioned that I don’t dream like this.  My dreams always involve really boring things, like work.  (Side note:  is there anything worse than dreaming about work for 8 hours and then waking up and realizing that you have to do it all over again?  No, I don’t think so.  It’s awful. )

Hers are just so…real…and life-changing for her.  They always really affect her and change her and make her feel….something.  All the time.

While I’m glad I don’t have the scary dreams that she has, I’m kind of sad that I don’t get to experience the really cool ones.  And it makes me kind of wonder….is this what goes on in the minds of entertainment’s geniuses?  Is this God’s way of blessing those of us destined to become the world’s story tellers? 

What is Funny, Is that It was Necessary

Actual message left by me to my house this morning:

"Connor:  do not even THINK about leaving the house without underwear today.  You have to wear underwear to your basketball game....Tim, please double check and make sure he has them on before you guys leave the house.  Thanks, bye."

What Happened to that Tip Line Number?

So, today....I'm going about my business and flip on over to msnbc.com to check out 'real' news.  (i.e. stuff I don't catch either on facebook or twitter), and what do I see, but this:

 

And I about die laughing.  And my husband is all...what is going on.  And I can't even breathe, I am laughing so hard, so I find it very hard to articulate why this is so funny.  But seriously....

I don't know if any of you know Randy, but we've been friends since college.  He used to do the morning show with my husband and I used to wake him up when he snored to loudly in all our COM classes.  His family and our family has remained friends since and have worked together on various web ventures throughout the years.  But apparently, he failed to mentioned that he was a terrorist.  

Seriously, ya'll.

Is this a Halloween costume gone wrong?  Or is finding employment in radio really just that bad that you need a second job?  Inquiring minds want to know, Streu.  

I mean, I knew you weren't happy with the way government was headed, but I think this may perhaps be taking things just a little too far. 

Hee.  This will keep me laughing for a long time.

Karma is cold, yo

I remember a time long ago in the days of our parental innocence when our beautiful, sweet, adoring niece Emmalynn was a two-year-old tornado of terror. Jeff and I would present an empathetic ear to her poor, tortured parents while simultaneously trying to hold back our giggles that would inevitably be biting to get out. Later we would hold our teeny tiny miracle that was our newborn, and we would laugh and talk about just how funny that particular antic had been, and how incredibly relieved we were that we were not her parents. 

It turns out payback really is about as nice as they say.

Peyton has turned into a mini-Emmy.

In the last two weeks, she has had an explosion of discovery and self-sufficiency.  And to make matters worse, creativity seems to strike in the wee hours of the morning when Mommy and Daddy are out cold.

Examples:

Nov. 1: Yeah. Halloween candy*? Everywhere. Wrappers strewn about the apartment, half-eaten suckers adorned the furniture, and one chocolate-y faced wake up call.  After surveying the damage, I asked her why she had been so naughty that morning. Her response? "It was ax-dent, Mommy." As in, I couldn't help it, Mommy, all of these candies just jumped out of their wrappers, and I did everything I could to clean it up for you.

 

   *Halloween candy was not put up due to an overly trusting and forgetful Daddy

Two weeks ago: Potty training is a no-go, but the squirt does not appreciate a poopy diaper.  Immediately upon filling said diaper, she rushes off to get naked in another room and then brings the offending mess in for us to clean up. After about the third day of this, any silence longer than 30 seconds is immediately investigated. As a result, when you are not in the room, Peyton loudly asks, "Mooooommy!!! What are you doing out there?"

Last week: Child decided that she wanted to wash her hair. Found her covered in baby shampoo. In our bed. Not a fun discovery.

Also last week: Peyton decided that she wanted to brush her teeth.  Panicked Mommy woke up to her crawling into bed, with a look of extreme satisfaction, saying, "Mommy! Mommy! I... *urp* brushed my teeth!! *urp* Mommy? *points at urp* What's that? *urp*"

*This lead to the purchase of handy baby-proof doorknobs that she has yet to be able to work out a solution to. Key word: Yet.

Monday: Awoken to child running into our room, shouting, "POTATO! POTATO! POTAAAAAAAAAAAATO SANDWICH!" Went out to living room to discover that she had pushed down the gate to the kitchen to find not only two potatos, but also two slices of bread that would serve as the basis for her potato sandwich.  When asked if the sandwich was good, she replied, "No, mommy. Was yucky. I want eggies.  Peeeeeas."

Wednesday: Apparently the coffee table was not clean enough for her particular needs, so she got into the kitchen to get a bottle of dish soap.  She then proceeded to dump the entire contents (estimated at approximately 3/4 of a bottle) onto the table.  Woke up to an overwhelming smell of soap, and found a nice toilet-seat-shaped of bright blue soap that had made it to the floor. Our carpet? Still blue. Not to mention Mountain Fresh.

This morning: Hungry once again, she pushed down the gate leading to the kitchen to get Daddy's cereal and a (dirty) bowl she found in the sink.  Woke up to the tinkling of cereal hitting the coffee table, and then after calling Peyton into our room (first answered with "What are you doing in there,  Mommy?"), she let us know that she needed a spoon.  Jeff went out to assess the damage, and came back to inform me of the specifics.  I told Peyton that she was a little girl, and if she needed help making breakfast she needed to ask Mommy because Mommy is a big girl, and that it was not something that little girls were supposed to do on their own.

    Her response?

    "Daddy is a little girl, Mommy. A big one."

Some days, the naughty is so worth it.

SYTYCD - Week One

So, this is one of my most favorite shows. And my daughter digs it too. What I think is funny, though, is the dances that she does like. I thought it would be a fun feature on this here blog of mine to do a review each week on this show based on our opinions. Because, frankly, the opinions of a four year old ballerina are quite enlightening and funny.

So, without further ado….this week’s SYTYCD review.

Four

Dear Emmy,

Today you turn four years old.  I don’t recall ever giving you permission to get so old.  But if I’ve learned anything in these four short years as your mother, its been that you could care less about what I give you permission to do.  You are your own person, thank you very much, and will do as you like.  Permission or not. 

This has led to pretty much what you’d expect: you spend a lot of your life getting disciplined and dealing with the consequences.  But you are a tough, tough cookie, girl.  This year you have definitely learned to pick your battles in life and humor mommy and daddy with obedience.  For this, I thank you.  But I tell you what – I can see it in your eyes.  Even when you do give in.  You are the strongest person I have ever met.  You have a will of iron.  Someday, I’m pretty sure, you will rule the world.

This year, you have definitely turned into a girly girl.  Dressing up is like your most favorite activity in the entire universe and you do it constantly.  And you love nothing more than having a “girl’s night” in which we do nails and hair and makeup and watch musicals.

 
Musicals happen to be your most favorite movie.  Your favorite this year was Oklahoma and you know every single word to every song by heart.  And sing them at the top of your lungs, with such drama and flair that it never fails to make me laugh.  You also enjoy Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and every single Disney Princess movie to feature singing ever made.   You love anything princess, especially if it involves a pretty dress.

 
You sing continuously.  All the time.  You are constantly making up songs about every single thing in life and sing them from room to room.  You are so full of such…I don’t know…life, I guess.  You are so out there, so ‘on’ all the time.  You are constantly making faces or saying funny things or just being your dramatic, loud self.  You are a spunky character.

This year has also brought the attitude.  You know just what buttons to push and do so already.  You hurt with your words, and man, even for four, they cut deep, girl.  And I swear to God, I love you with my life, darling, but if you tell me that you hate me and I’m the meanest mommy in the world one more time, I’m going to side with your Daddy on the you’re-not-dating-until-you-are-30 business and you will rue the day that those words left your mouth. 

You are still a great eater, and just love food like no preschooler before you ever has.  You like the unique and weird and are definitely a “foodie” like your daddy.  This year, you had crab legs in the shell for the first time and I think you about died of pleasure.  Crab is now your most favorite food ever, but you also like other unique and weird things.  I’m pretty sure you’d try just about anything and would love it if it was prepared well. 

This year has been a rough one for our family.  And for that, I’m sorry sweetie.  Words can not even begin to express just how sorry I am for what  you’ve had to live through this year.  Its not fair and its not right.  If its any consolation, you’ve peed in the bed with me sleeping next to you several times this year.  And when you colored over all the walls in your room with a crayon, I didn’t kill you.  You’re welcome. 

What I want you to know, sweets, though is that I love you so very much.  You kept me going more times than you’ll probably ever know.  You are such a sweet girl and I will never forget the times you snuggled me as I laid in bed, crying.  You would rub my back with your chubby little hands and say “Oh, Momma.”  You would give me mouches and pat my head.  You mothered me this year.

I love you so much, my beautiful baby girl.  Thank you so much for being a part of our lives.  For entertaining us daily by just being you. 

If I could bottle you up and keep you at this age forever, I’m pretty sure I would do it in a heartbeat.  But I’m pretty sure you’d bust out of that bottle in two seconds flat.  You are a force to be reckoned with, that can not be stopped. 

Just promised your Mommy that someday, when you rule the world?  We’ll still go shopping.

I love you, goober.

 

Your Momma. 

P.S.  Your momma made this real cool video of your last year just for you.  It has music and pictures and video of your entire last year.  It took me weeks.  Stupid Microsoft Movie Maker will not save this into a normal file.  I have tried all morning.  It is being obnoxious.  So instead of sitting her playing with it, I'm taking you to lunch.  Because I'm done with it.  DONE!  Okay, not really.  If I have to sick you on Microsoft to make it happen, we will get this saved.  Just not today.  Today is a day to celebrate.

Friends Forever

Last night I got a call from an old friend.  Well, not an “old” friend, I mean goodness, we aren’t old yet, are we?  No, I mean the type of friend that you have known just forever.  The kind of friend that you rolled your jeans with, and cruised the mall with, and stayed up late talking about boys with.  My very best friend.  We experienced high school and college together.  We experienced boyfriends and breakups and growing up together.  Better yet, she loved God with everything that she had.  We kept each other accountable.  We fought when either one of us did something stupid and ill-advised.  But we were always friends.

Life has interfered with this friendship.  Distance, husbands, children and other obligations have made it hard to maintain. 

She called last night after reading this post.  In tears.  And you know what?  Still the very best of friends.  Talking to her was just the best.  The very best thing.  We just kind of picked up where we left off and…it was just great.

One of the things that I have learned this past year is that I need a support system.  I need people in my life who love and care for me.  I can’t do this on my own.  God didn’t design us to navigate this life on our own.  I need to stop shutting people out and do a better job at maintaining my friendships.

I have many, many people in the world who would be there for me in a heartbeat.  I didn’t reach out to any of them when I should have. 

We need our peeps.  We need them to pray for us and with us.  We need their love and encouragement.

So, today – that is my challenge to you.  Call someone that you’ve been meaning to call.  Ask them what you can pray for them in their life.  It doesn’t matter if you haven’t talked to them in ages.  Trust me, they will be glad to hear from you.  And you will be glad that you made the call.

Of Failure and Forget

So, I have a new idea to keep myself a bit disciplined in my spiritual life.  Before I get online for the day, even just to check my email or whatever, I have to have done my devos.  If I have time to get on facebook, I have time to spend with God. 

This is like the most simple thing ever, I’m not sure why it never occurred to me and I’m sure a million of you (ha!  Like that many people will read this!) are probably already going….”Um, yeah…tell me something new.”  But seriously, people…this has never even crossed my mind before.  And when it happened this morning as I was beginning to pull my laptop onto my lap, if you were here, I swear to you that you might have seen the lightbulb literally go off over my head.  It was that kind of revelation. 

And I’m so excited about this!  Because this is something I can keep up with.  It’s not such and such time every day that I can never hit and never make because life ALWAYS interferes. 

Anyways, now that I’ve shared what an idiot I am, let me expound on that and tell you what God has been teaching me this week.  To sum:  a lot.  A lot of a lot.  This has been a big week for me, spiritually.  I think I was finally in a place where God could teach me some things and I feel…just…happy.  Do you know how long it has been since I said something like that?  Oh, a long, long time.

So, in my small Bible study group, we are working through a study of David.  The man after God’s own heart.  And it has been so good.  So, so good.  This week, in particular.  It was about relating to God after failure. 

If anyone has known about what is going on in my life, this past year has been riddled with failures on my part.  Great, big, giant, humongous failures. 

And it was like a snowball rolling down a hill, these failures.  They just picked up steam, lost control, and before you know it:  catastrophe. 

This is a long, long story.  So, click on, if you dare. 

Politicians and Marketing Geniuses Just Love Me Now

This week, I became a cliché.  This week, I became *gasp* a soccer mom.   I know, right? 

We have entered into a whole new world, I feel.  Gone are the days of breastfeeding and bottles and babyfood and smelling of spoiled milk like ALL THE TIME.  Gone are the diapers and the toddler tantrums and the coloring on the walls with permanent marker.  Gone is the potty training and sippy cups and naptime. 

It’s like all of a sudden, I blinked, and holy cow….soccer mom.  Life is now school drop-offs and pick-ups and playdates and ballet class, or soccer games. 

The high chairs are all gone.  No more potty seats.  No more toddler beds.

My kids are….kids.  Who allowed them to grow up already?

I remember thinking that I just couldn’t wait to get to this stage.  Especially, when Emmy was doing something especially naughty.  Or when I was changing diapers.  I could not wait to get to this stage.

And don’t get me wrong.  I was in the height of joy watching my little ballerina in her first dance class this week.  That is something that I knew that we would share since I first saw her on the ultrasound. 

And watching Connor fling himself through the air to block a goal in soccer?  Awesome.  My pride runneth over. 

It’s just…I don’t know.  We got here so fast.  So all of a sudden. 

Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were bringing them home from the hospital?

I feel like I’m still adjusting to even being a mom, let alone a soccer mom.  That sounds so very grown up.  Wait, I’m totally a grown up now, aren’t I?  Oh, criminy.  Who let that happen?